Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
