speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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