just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize