I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
