Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
