These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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