ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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