the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
