she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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