i need an iv and a liver transplant
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
