I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
third nipple confirmed
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
