So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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