He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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