you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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