Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
