i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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