And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize