if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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