Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
