Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
