as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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