Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize