I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Never joke about your clitoris.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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