Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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