If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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