You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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