There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize