You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
