Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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