I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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