i permit you to call me
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
