Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
