nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I love having hate sex.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
