This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Shame is for Republicans.
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