Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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