wat bout pragnant strippers??
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
