Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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