If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
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no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
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the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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