yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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