I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
