Kiss
Puke
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
