I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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