I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize