I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
