I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
