No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
