Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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