Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
