And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
