You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
