hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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