I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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