she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
