Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
