whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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