he shaved USA in his pubs
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
