his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
